Release Date: May 15, 2012
Face it, long distance relationships in high school are hard, especially when the other one in the relationship is an alien. Alex Bianchi may have survived an intergalactic battle, but that still doesn't excuse her from her senior year of high school, or qualify her for any sort of scholarship. To make up for college tuition costs, she takes a job at a local coffee shop. If only coffee could solve all of her problems. As Alex's senior year progresses, everything changes and she can't figure out if it is interstellar or if it is just time to break up with an alien.
So now that Alex and Ace have avoided an alien invasion by agreeing to get married, what’s a girl to do? Well, she goes back to high school to finish her senior year of course. Alex still has to graduate and finish college according to the peace treaty that betroths her to her hottie alien boyfriend.
Now that Alex is back in the land of boring humans, she’s once again the goofy geek instead of the kick ass extra-terrestrial fighter. So she endures the usual torture from mean girl Gemma at school, but finds some solace at her new barista job when she meets her co-worker Simone. Finally a BFF!
Things are good: she’s still on her way to be valedictorian, she’s enjoying some female bonding, her old crush Brody is suddenly giving her a lot of attention (a girl can enjoy a little male attention even if she’s technically engaged right?), and the best perk of all? Ace can beam into her bedroom any time he wants!
I mean how AWESOME is that? Ace can so beam into my room anytime. Did I say that out loud? Ok, so anyway Alex’s life is all happy and wonderful.
Until Ace starts “running late” all the time. And Brody wants to be more than just friends. And maybe Alex doesn’t want to give up on her dream of going to Columbia. What’s a girl to do? I don’t know, maybe break up with an alien?
WHAT!?! I said maybe. Could it be possible that there is some sleep creep involved here? I mean, Brody is getting a bit obsessive. And why on earth is Alex suddenly questioning her feelings for Ace? She loves Ace! And who wouldn’t want to be the next Princess of Calta? There is the whole future mother-in-law from hell that is totally against the alien/human marriage. Could she really stoop so low as to use her sleep creepiness to try to break the treaty?
No worries, Ace is coming to town to help. And to meet Mom! And Grandpa! And wow, Ace sure looks a lot like one of Grandpa’s old war buddies. Eeeep!
Top moments in this book (besides the awesome beaming thing) include:
1. Dreams involving the world’s worst white rapper (and Alex being his ho, yo)
2. Monte’s totally inappropriate (but strangely appropriate) crudeness
3. The whole beaming thing (did I already say that?)
4. Mom meeting Ace
5. Ace’s preppy boy wardrobe
6. The whole beaming thing
As much as I loved this book, I have to admit that I really missed the aliens. There are a few here and there, but no one floats in goo, no purple people eater gets to duke it out with an invisible octohippo, and there is no phoning home. We do get to meet Monte (who needs his own book), but How to Break Up with an Alien reads slightly more YA contemporary. It’s still fun and quirky, and the whole beaming thing is just hot, but I hope we get to see some more E.T.s in the next installment.
So will they make it? Or will Alex find out that breaking up with an alien is hard to do? You’ll have to read it to find out.
Magan Vernon is a Young Adult and New Adult writer who lives with her family in the insurance capital of the world. She is in a very serious, fake relationship with Adam Lambert and constantly asks her husband to wear guyliner. He still refuses. She also believes her husband is secretly an alien, disguised as a southern gentleman.